


Don't hurt me

by CrankyWhenProvoked



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, J2, M/M, Making Love, Mentions of past abuse, Nervous Jared, TW: Past Abuse, cop!Jensen, minor break down, reassuring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 00:19:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrankyWhenProvoked/pseuds/CrankyWhenProvoked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has had nothing but a string of abusive boyfriends and he thinks he’ll never find someone. Until he meets Jensen and they really hit it off, though when Jared finds out that he’s a cop he freaks out and starts worrying that the statistics on cops are going to happen (that they are more abusive than any other profession)</p>
<p>Well one night when Jared is staying at Jensens he breaks something and starts crying and all but begging Jensen not to hit him for it, which breaks Jensens heart. So he spends the night worshiping Jared in every way and promising him he will NEVER hurt him like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't hurt me

The music in the club was a low pulse through Jared as he took another pull from his beer before setting it on the table. On the dance floor it was groups of males pressed together, few single men trying to catch a suitors eye and your few assorted couples. Shaking his head slightly as another male tried to catch his eye, but just gave a small shrug and went back to looking. It wasn’t like he wasn’t looking for a guy, that’s why he was here after all but he was having a hard time just going and finding another guy. For him it felt like just one long string of people that wanted to hurt him.

His very first boyfriend, he got when he was 17. At first it felt like all firsts, he felt like it was going to last forever and that he was in love. They had been going out for three months when Dave had hit him. It was just a small smack across the face and he had apologized over and over and Jared had forgiven him. Almost another month after that, he had done it again, but this time had split his lip. Once again he had apologized and Jared took a few days before he decided that he wanted him in his life still. After that, Dave had started doing it almost once a week, but Jared loved him and didn’t want him gone. When he sent him to the hospital though, it was done and over.

After that, he had three more boyfriends, all which at one point in their relationship and he can’t just let people in easily. So he comes to these places and tried to not think that the sweet smiles are just covering for what would come later.

Letting out another small sigh, he shook his head at yet another would be guy and got up out of the booth. Grabbing his beer, he turned to head to the bar and ran right into a solid body.

“I am so sorry” The guy said as Jared took a small step back as the puddle of beer spread on the floor.

“It’s ok” Jared said quickly, looking up and trying to hold in a gasp.

The guys green eyes were a little wide, plump pink lips were open just a little as he looked at Jared.

“Let me buy you another to replace that, I wasn’t looking where I was going” The guy said, distracting Jared away from trying to count the guys freckles.

“No you really don’t have to” Jared said.

“Please, it would make me feel better” He said and when he smiled Jared found himself nodding.

“Ok” He smiled shyly.

Smiling wider the guy nodded and led Jared to the bar as one of the workers came over to clean up the mess. Getting to the bar the guy motioned for two beers and sat on one of the stools as Jared sat on the one next to him.

“Jensen, by the way” The guy smiled as the beers were placed in front of them.

“Jared”

“So what’s a guy that looks like you doing sitting all alone before I ran into you, literally”

“No one really caught my eye” Jared said, shrugging a little.

“No one huh?” Jensen cocked an eyebrow as he took a drink of beer.

“Well, maybe not no one” Jared could feel the heat on his cheeks as he took a drink of his own.

“What would you say to maybe dancing after you finish your beer?”

Jareds heart took off as Jensen smiled softly at him, eyebrow still cocked lightly. He wasn’t blind, could see that Jensen was attractive but the muscles that he could plainly see gave him a weird feeling. He liked them as much as they scared him.

“If you don’t want to, I’ll understand Jared” Jensen said gently.

“No, I mean.. uh.. I’d love to” He said, the heat coming back over his cheeks as he took another drink.

“You sure, I don’t want you to feel like you have to”

“I do, really” Jared said, finishing off his beer and grabbing Jensens hand.

Jensen finished off his own and let Jared all but pull him onto the dance floor and laughed a little as Jared then looked a little unsure. Taking his hands gently, Jensen wrapped Jareds arms around his neck. Placing his hands on Jareds hips he pulled their bodies together lightly, swaying it in time to the music. Jared could feel his heart beating fast as Jensen smiled up at him, his thumbs slipping up under his shirt, rubbing across his skin.

“Not so bad dancing with me is it?” Jensen rumbled, Jared’s eyes focusing on his lips.

“No”

Pressing a little closer, Jensen flicked his nose against Jareds, leaning in a little; eyes questioning. Breath hitching a little, he nodded a little leaning in the last little bit and brushed them just the little bit together. He could feel Jensens smile as their lips moved just a little bit together, bodies still swaying to the music.

Pulling back Jared licked his lips as Jensen bit his lips, smile still on his face.

“I’d like to do this again” Jensen said.

“Kiss on a dance floor?” Jared smirked, earning him a laugh.

“No, go on a date”

“I think I’d like that too”

~*~

Jared smiled to himself as he drove down the road towards Jensens house, some old rock on the radio. After that night at the club, they traded numbers and parted ways that night. That was one of the things that let Jared give him a chance, he didn’t try to push Jared to do anything that he didn’t want to do. It took them nearly a month to get into bed and even then Jensen didn’t push him to hard. Two months later and here they are and Jared is happy, still has some worries but isn’t freaking out.

Pulling into Jensens driveway he parked and shut the car off, hopping out of the car and locking it behind him. Walking to the door he waved at the little old lady going into her house next to Jensens, getting a wave in return. Going up to the door he gave it a few knocks and put his hands in his pockets.

A few moments later Jensen opened the door, a smile lighting up his face as he fully opened the door.

“Well this is a surprise” He said, finishing buttoning up his blue shirt.

“Either you knew I was coming or are you dressing up for someone else” Jared said, cocking an eyebrow looking at Jensens outfit.

“Neither” He laughed, fixing his belt. “Got called into work”

“You’re a cop?” Jared asked, his eyes going wide for a moment.

“Yea, guess it never really came up did it?” He said, making a small ‘hmm’ face. “That a problem?”

“No, no” Jared said, giving him a small smile.

“Ok” Jensen said, with a smile. “Well I’m sorry you came all the way over and I have to leave, you can stay if you want though, wait for me to get home”

“No, I’ll just come back when you get home later or tomorrow”

“You sure?”

“Yea”

“Ok Jay” He smiled softly, pulling Jared close and giving him a lingering kiss before they said their goodbyes.

~*~

Pacing his living room Jared ran his fingers through his hair, taking a shaky breath in and out before doing it again. How did he not know that Jensen was a cop? Why didn’t he ever bother to find out?

“Oh fuck me” Jared whined, trying to stop the rising bile.

The statistic on cops being abusive to their domestic partners was 2 to 4 times higher than other professions. Not to mention that 45% of cops said they had physically abused their partner in the last year alone. What if Jensen was like that, just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off because of a bad case.

Sitting down on the couch Jared put his face in his hands, a few tears slipping down his cheeks.

“What do I do?” He asked out loud. “This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in, do I throw it all away just because he MIGHT become abusive? Or do I stay with him and just wait for it to MAYBE happen?”

Running his hands down his face he folded them under his chin and sighed, blowing out a big breath.

“Well I guess you never really told him about your past and job either smart one, why didn’t that ever come up? Would it matter? Would I be sitting here thinking like this if he was an office worker or something? What about if I hadn’t found out about it yet, just went on not thinking or caring what he did as a job? You wouldn’t leave him now if you didn’t know or if he did other kinds of work. So you aren’t going to now” He said, trying to sound confident, though he couldn’t lie very well to himself.

Letting out another sigh he got up and headed into the kitchen, grabbing a beer out of the fridge and popping it open. Tossing the cap on the counter he took a drink leaning against the counter. The vibrating in his pocket makes him jump before his text message tone goes off. Fishing the phone out he looks at the message and sobs a little with a smile as he reads it.

‘Thinking of you, miss you already’

Sending a quick message of ‘miss you too’ he smiled a little at the phone before his face fell. He needed to get over this, he couldn’t see Jensen becoming abusive, he just didn’t have it in him. Or did he? Growling at himself, he shook his head, he needed to let it go but he knew he wasn’t going to be able too.

Finishing off his beer he went and laid on the couch, turning on the tv, maybe a nap would help get rid of all the thoughts going through his head.

~*~

“Bad day?” Jared asked as Jensen came out of the bathroom, rubbing his short hair with a towel.

When he had come in, he barely grunted a greeting before giving Jared a short kiss and heading off to take a shower. They had been staying more at each others places, one week at Jareds then one at Jensens. This week was at Jensens and Jared had spent a while on dinner waiting for Jensen to get off of work. So far things were going really well, Jared had all but pushed the thoughts he had six months ago out of his mind. When Jensen came in like he did though, it instantly put Jared on edge. This was exactly how most of his nightmares started, Jensen having a really bad day.

Most of the bad days that Jensen had, he would just come home and drink a beer, talk it over with Jared and that was that. Never did he brush Jared off like he did today and that was what made him most nervous. What if Jensen couldn’t get it out of his head and needed some sort of hurtful physical gratification?

“Yea, child molester walked on faulty charges and skipped the state” He sighed, tossing his towel towards the bathroom.

“Oh” Jared said, fidgeting a little, adjusting the pan of chicken enchiladas. “Do you want some dinner?”

“In a minute” He mumbled, pulling a bottle of Jack out of one cabinet and a glass out of the other.

Pouring himself a shot, he knocked it back before pouring a double and putting the bottle back.

“I didn’t know you had that” Jared said, in a small voice as he grabbed a few plates out of another cabinet.

“Don’t drink much of it, just when it’s been a long day” Jensen said, drinking the shot and putting the glass in the sink.

Jared made a small ‘hmm’ noise and put the plates on the counter, before reaching to grab a few bigger glasses. Right as he dropped is hand trying to see what glasses to use, it hit the plates, knocking them both to the floor. The sound of breaking glass sounded to loud in the kitchen as both males looked at the pieces, Jared going white. Jensen blinked a few times, letting out a breath as Jared started trembling.

“I’m so sorry” Jared said, in a shaky voice.

“It’s fine” Jensen said, running a hand through his hair.

“No, no It’s not I’m sorry, so sorry” He all but whimpered out, backing up a few steps, until his back hit the counter.

“Jay seriously” Jensen said, taking a step forward stopping when Jared sank down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs.

“No, no you’re having a bad day and the last thing you… you need is a mess and me breaking you plates” He said, his breath speeding up. “Please, please don’t hit me I’m sorry I’ll clean it up and replace them, just … just don’t”

Tears were started to fall rapidly down Jareds cheeks as Jensen stood there dumbfounded. Taking a step around the broken glass he moved slowly over to Jared, holding his hands out palms showing.

“I’m not going to hit you baby, I promise” He said as he sank to his knees next to Jared.

Reaching out slowly he ran his hand up Jareds arm, feeling the shaking as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder. Pulling him against him, he could feel Jareds tears against the side of his neck as he wrapped his other arm around him as well. Rocking him gently, Jensen shhhhh’ed him quietly until Jared stopped trembling.

“I’m sorry” Jared whimpered into Jensens shirt.

“Don’t be, whatever you’re apologizing for, don’t be”

He could feel Jareds nod as he unwrapped his arms from his legs and wrapped them around Jensen.

“Want to tell me what‘s going on?” Jensen asked softly.

“I’ve, I’ve never been in a relationship that didn’t turn abusive” Jared said, a few of the words running together, Jensen caught them though. “And most of the time it was things like that, that triggered them to find and excuse to do it”

“Baby” Jensen breathed out, rubbing his hand down Jareds back.

“And you, you are so wonderful but old fears started popping up and statistics of cops are bad and I’m sorry, please don’t leave me”

Jensen could feel a fresh wave of tears hit his skin and an ache settle in his heart. Pulling Jareds head back gently, his thumbs wiped away the tears, his heart hurting more as Jareds bottom lip quivered.

“I’m not going to leave you and I will never, ever hit you. Sure I’m going to have bad days and days where I’m going to want to punch a wall, but I will never take it out on you”

“Promise?” Jared said, barely audible.

“I promise” Jensen said, leaning in a little, eyes questioning like the very first time they met.

Closing the distance Jared kissed him back, barely any pressure behind it. Pulling back Jensen stood up, pulling Jared up with him. Stepping over the broken plates, Jensen led Jared to the bedroom, pulling Jareds shirt off slowly. Doing the same with his pants and boxers he kissed him softly through it all, before motioning for him to get on the bed. Stripping down to his boxers he climbed on the bed, lifting Jareds leg and kissing his ankle before moving a trail of kisses up to his thigh before restarting on the other leg.

“I love you Jared” Jensen said, kissing up the skin of his stomach, then over his chest. “I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much in your life and I can’t make any of those scars go away”

Lifting each arm he kissed each finger, his palms, over his wrists and up the shoulder before placing kisses over his neck. Lying over him he cupped Jareds jaw lightly, pressing a tender kiss against his lips.

“But I promise you, here and now and forever, that as long as you are with me I’ll never hit you. I will never hurt you in any way and I will tell you I love you everyday and remind you just how much you mean to me”

A few more tears slipped down Jareds cheeks as he smiled and gave Jensen another kiss.

“I love you too Jensen” He said, his voice rough with tears.

Jensen smiled and gave him another kiss before kissing all the tears away. Letting out a small gasp, Jensen tried to ignore the press of Jareds cock against his hip bone. As he tried to move to the side Jareds arms around his neck stopped him.

“Make love to me?” He whispered against his lips.

Giving him a kiss, Jensen discarded his boxers and reached for the lube in the drawer, dropping it on the bed. Spreading Jareds legs he perched himself on his knees as he popped open the lube, coating his fingers.

Taking his time opening Jared up, he reveled in the moans, gasps and whimpers that were coming from Jared. Pressing over his prostate at every pass, kissing him deeply before slipping his fingers out. Lubing up his cock, he pressed slowly into Jared, mingling their moans together as he bottomed out.

“Love you” He mumbled against Jareds lips.

“Love you too” Jared moaned back as Jensen started moving slowly.

Each thrust was slow, each kiss trying to convey all the words that he still would love to say. Not knowing how to say them.

Wrapping his hand around Jareds cock, his jacked him off in the same rhythm his hips were moving in. Jared moaned into Jensens mouth as he came over his own stomach and Jensens hand. A few thrusts later Jensen gave his own moan, filling Jared, kissing him passionately.

Lying there until Jensens soft cock slipped out, they both shivered, Jared letting out a little moan.

“I think I need a shower now” Jared mumbled.

“Go take one then baby, I’ll go clean up the plates and reheat dinner” He said, giving Jared another lingering kiss.

“I’ll do it”

“No, I will” He said, giving Jareds lip a playful nip.

“Ok”

“And don’t forget what I said, you mean the world and beyond to me and I’m not going to do anything to mess that up. Ever”

“I believe you” Jared said and the last of the clenching around his heart finally let go. “I believe you”


End file.
